Of Crazy Neighbor Ladies
If I have to keep blogging about vitamins and diet supplements, I might go insane. So in an effort to lighten things up around here I'm going to tell you about one of my stranger neighbors. (And because Christina is waiting for this story with bated breath.) This was a neighbor I had in 29 Palms while I was staying in the apartment by myself during Ryan's time at MOS school for Communications. The apartment was one of two in the same building that had at one time probably been a single house. There were a couple of similar buildings around us, but I was really only attached to the one other apartment and therefore only technically had one neighbor that I had to deal with on an almost daily basis.
This neighbor was a female Marine that worked on the base. She wasn't married, but I believe she had at least one boyfriend during the time I lived there. I'm not entirely sure because there were two or three different guys who would come over and stay for random lengths of time. But she always seemed to be fighting with the same one on the phone for hours at night. (Let's just say the walls were thin, and I heard a lot of crazy stuff during those conversations.) And this woman complained about everything. As if her curse filled phone rants and the sounds of her night time...activities with her boyfriend(s) weren't inconsiderate. She complained about everyone else all of the time.
For instance, someone decided it would be fun to smash our mailbox. Our mailboxes were joined on one post so she and I both had smashed mailboxes to deal with. Now, I just thought it was common sense that some people like to smash mailboxes for fun just to get a rise out of the owners. But apparently my neighbor was not aware of this. She filed a police report. No joke. Ryan and I returned to the apartment from grocery shopping to a squad car parked out front. I mean, seriously. What did she think the police were going to do? Get CSI out there to track those pranksters down and throw them in jail? Because the police have nothing better to do, I suppose. You could tell the officer was trying to decide if he was more amused or annoyed by my neighbor's antics. She called our landlady ranting and raving, too. The landlady did the only thing she could; she replaced the mailboxes. And in case you're on the edge of your seat in suspense: those pranksters are still out there somewhere just waiting to smash another defenseless mailbox. Beware.
To understand this next part you have to know that Ryan and I did not have a car and would often walk the 1/2 mile to the 7-11 and back for snacks as well as visit the local movie rental store or grab a pizza. Sometimes we would do this at 11 or 12 o'clock at night. On the weekends only. Which is pretty normal around that area. Most Marines are out way later than that drinking and being crazy. You also have to understand that it was normal to hear the artillery units practicing out in the desert even on Sunday mornings. Sometimes I would think it was thunder. Sometimes I joked that T-Rex was coming. But, no; it was always just the echoes of artillery being fired. You'd think being a Marine herself that my neighbor would understand this. No. She thought someone in the complex was slamming doors randomly at 7 o'clock on a Sunday morning. Ryan and I were fast asleep and were barely disturbed by the echoes of the artillery when suddenly we heard our neighbor screaming obscenities and asking what was going on. We just kind of laid there confused as we heard her get up and slam her door to retaliate. We decided trying to get anymore sleep was a lost cause and began to get ready for the day.
While this was happening our neighbor called our landlady - at 7 o'clock on a Sunday morning - to complain about her neighbors slamming doors. The kicker? She thought it was us. Because it just had to be us since when she heard noises outside the night before and checked through her window thinking someone was attacking the mailboxes again - OMG, really, lady?!? - she saw us walking around outside. (What she saw was us locking the apartment door and talking to one another as we walked toward the 7-11. We weren't just standing around outside her window shouting and carrying on.) Basically she wanted the landlady to do something about us because she'd been living there such and such amount of time and shouldn't have had to deal with it. Blah blah blah. I laugh about it. Because our landlady never said a word to us about it. I think she was just used to our neighbor's antics and knew that I was not the cause a bunch of trouble type.
And then this same neighbor had the audacity to knock on my door early one morning just to let me know she was leaving for the Holidays in case I wondered where she went. And then she was just oh so sad when I told her I would be moving out on such and such a day. All I know is, that time she was gone was the quietest our complex was the entire time I lived there.
2 Comments:
Yessss! WHY didn't you write about this before?! haha
And just for the record, I was on the edge of my seat... out of laughter. I loved the dripping sarcasm in the third paragraph, by the way, my creative writing teachers would be proud.
I'll definitely be writing more about my crazy neighbor lady as things come up. Now that the weather's warming up, I'm sure I'll have fun stuff to share.
U need to write a book.
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